I was born in 1984, way before body positivity was a thing and waaaay before diverse body types were shown in the media.
Like many other women of my generation (and those who came before) I internalised that skewed representation and developed a critical inner voice which told me there was something wrong with my body because I didn’t look like any of the women represented on TV and magazines.
As I headed into my teen years in the late 90’s, the concept of ‘thigh gap’ was the ultimate goal for a woman… and this tormented me. I have thick, curvy thighs with plenty of cellulite that developed with my menstrual cycle at age eleven, which have absolutely no hope of ever feeling the breeze between them.
I carried this nagging voice of self doubt around with me like a backpack full of bricks where it ultimately manifested with me on a merry-go-round of yo-yo dieting.
Weight goes down, weight goes up.
Weight goes down, weight goes up.
For years….
It wasn’t until I got to my mid-30’s that I realised just how toxic the relationship I had with my inner voice had become and I sought help in the form of therapy from someone who specialises in this field.
It opened my eyes to see that a few of the things in my life were reinforcing the negative inner voice and that I could actually make changes to improve the messaging.
It’s been seven years since then.
A lot has happened in that time but I wanted to share some of the things that I did to deprogram myself, rewire my brain and ultimately arrive in a place of self acceptance and body neutrality.
I’m proud to say I no longer criticise my appearance. I no longer compare myself to other women. I accept compliments when they come. I appreciate my body for everything it lets me do.
It’s a vastly different relationship and looking back, I can’t quite believe just how much progress I’ve made in such a relatively short period of time.
My friends can’t believe the change and frankly, neither can I.
Here are some of things I did to get there
This is definitely not an exhaustive list of practices I've done, but as I scrolled back through my photo library these were the things I was reminded of.
I'd love to hear your stories if you resonate with any of this.
Speaking about it openly takes so much power away from that nasty inner critic!
With love,
Clare xox
2 comments
Thank you for your honesty and courage in sharing this. As a society we still have far to go, but I have loved seeing the rise of real women modelling clothes. All the best for your ongoing journey, and thank you for contributing to a more positive world by developing designs that look great on real bodies 😊🙏🏽
Great to read, and helpful ideas too. You also design clothes that look beautiful on real women’s bodies! Thank you